Myths and Truths about Equal Shared Co-Parenting

MYTH 1

Shared co-parenting emphasizes parents’ rights at the expense of the best interest of children.

FACT

The primary consideration supporting a presumption of shared parenting is the benefits to children. More than 40 years of social science research establishes a growing consensus that in the vast majority of cases, children raised in shared co-parenting arrangements score significantly higher on almost every metric of child well-being than those raised in a sole custody arrangement.

Scientific references: Nielsen (2014), Baude (2016), Bauserman (2002, 2012)

MYTH 2

Shared co-parenting doesn't benefit children when the parents are in conflict with each other.

FACT

Even when there is conflict between parents, equal shared co-parenting arrangements are better for children than sole-custody arrangements on all measures of behavioral, emotional, physical, and academic well-being and are related to children having better relationships with their parents and grandparents. The quality of the parent child relationship is a better predictor of children’s longterm outcomes than parental conflict.

Scientific references: Fabricious & Leuken (2007), Nielsen (2017 & 2018), Harmon, et al. (2022), Fabricius & Suh (2017)

MYTH 3

Shared co-parenting doesn't cause better outcomes for children; it's just a correlation.

FACT

While having two homes sometimes causes inconveniences, research has shown that this is not harmful to children, nor does it hinder their developing strong relationships with both parents. Overnights up to and including equal numbers of overnights at both parents' homes benefit both the long-term mother-child and father-child relationships.

Scientific references: Braver & Votruba (2018)

MYTH 4

Shared parenting isn’t appropriate for infants and toddlers.

FACT

Young children develop primary attachments to more than just one person. Strong, healthy parent child relationships need consistent and frequent contact including daytime and nighttime caregiving. Restricting infants and toddlers from overnights with loving parents is inconsistent with what we know about the development of meaningful parent-child relationships in the first years of life. There is no scientific support for the claim that infants’ and toddlers’ overnight stays with their fathers are harmful or interferes with their attachment to their mothers.

Scientific references: Nielsen (2014), Baude (2016), Bauserman (2002, 2012)

MYTH 5

Shared co-parenting undermines children’s security, by requiring them to shuttle between two homes.

FACT

While having two homes sometimes causes inconveniences, research has shown that this is not harmful to children, nor does it hinder their developing strong relationships with both parents. Overnights “up to and including equal numbers of overnights at both parents’ homes” benefited “both the long-term mother-child and father-child relationships.”

Scientific references: Fabricius & Suh (2017), Fransson et al. (2018), Warshak (2014)

MYTH 6

Shared parenting isn’t necessary because what benefits children is the quality not the quantity of time with each parent.

FACT

The quality of parenting time is vital, of course. But the quantity of parenting time is also vital to children’s well-being. Research shows that benefits to children arise because both parents are significantly involved in ordinary, day-to-day parenting responsibilities, not just weekend and holiday time. And the benefits of shared parenting for children increase as the time with each parent approaches equality.

Scientific references: Fabricius & Suh (2017); Fabricius (2020 & 2022)

MYTH 7

Shared co-parenting leaves children vulnerable to abuse.

FACT

There is no scientific evidence to support this statement. Shared parenting laws are rebuttable when this type of custody plan is not in the child’s best interest and when there is a demonstrated history of family violence. Cases of child maltreatment did not increase in states after enactment of equal shared parenting presumptions. (“Child Maltreatment 2020” U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Administration for Children and Families, p. 30.)

Scientific references: Fabricius (2020)